| June 21, 2009 | Lessons Learned Here from Heart, Mind and Spirit Reverend Jane Bramadat |
Meditation
I invite you to listen to this duet from The Pearl Fishers. I was given this tape more than twenty years ago, having been told that it was Paul Robeson singing the baritone part. So for years I enjoyed the music because one of my role models was singing. Then I learned that probably it wasn’t Paul....and I still liked it. Next I discovered it was a duet about friendship trumping almost everything...asserting that friendship can provide the strength, the courage, the companionship, the trust necessary to see one through all of life’s rough times.
For me this is the underlying purpose of religious community.....although not usually portrayed as passionately as in this duet!
Friendship encompasses support, challenge, compassion, learning, taking risks, and speaking the truth in love. And surely, hopefully, all this is at the crux of religious community.
Now, at the very least, enjoy the beauty of the music and the voices......and think about friendship and this congregation.
Sermon
There are so many ways we learn life lessons. We learn them most of all from experience, but also from observation, reading and from that vast voiceless knowing to be found both within ourselves and in the atmosphere surrounding us. This morning I will share with you some of the lessons I have learned from my time here.....and I hope you all will, at the same time, be thinking about the lessons you have learned - both here at First Unitarian and in the larger life arena where your time on earth is being played out.
For those of you who may be here for the first time, let me tell you that I have served this congregation as minister for the past seven years - and this is my second last Sunday in the pulpit.
What has been different for me...and for you as the congregation.....during my time here? Well, the first thing that has been completely different for you is that I am a female minister.....and the first one this congregation has had........in at least 100 years..... well outside the lived memory of even the oldest person here! I have experienced this fact as causing little overt difficulty, although I will tell you that at least one person and perhaps others do not attend because I am a woman (a female minister) and minister equals man.....It surprised me somewhat to learn this, given that we stand for the inherent worth and dignity of every person. The truth is, however, that we live in a culture that had, in its past, relegated women to an inferior position...and for some few, that perception may still be lingering even if unconsciously.
And if you are used to listening to a voice that is in a lower sound range it can be disquieting, disconcerting for you without you ever being aware of where the discomfort came from. Lesson # 1 - remember that being a female minister isn’t better or worse than being a male minister, but it is different and it will need awareness and explanation on a regular basis.
Another thing that has been a “first” for you the congregation has been having a Canadian as your minister. A triple-stamped Canadian. That is, I was born, raised and trained here in Canada. Although I married outside my race and ethnicity, and have lived in other countries, I view the world through the eyes of a Canadian. This has had an impact here at First Unitarian. Of course, my perception may be incorrect, but it has seemed to me that being Canadian and not being anti-American has confused and irritated some of you. Not that anyone wanted me to start preaching hate about any particular group, but just that there’s an understandable tendency among Canadians to be leery and critical of our powerful, assertive neighbour to the South. I have worked with too many American UUs to hold them responsible for the sometimes irresponsible behaviour of their government.......(which behaviour, in some places, is sometimes not as bad as our govt’s...)
You would have had a particular way of relating to an American minister...and yet no experience with a Canadian.
As a Canadian I tend to be what I call a passionate moderate and also an unrepentant fence-sitter. I try to make sure I hear several perspectives about whatever is at issue before making a decision....and that decision is always open to being changed, if new information or understanding comes along. This does not make me as decisive as some of you would like. Lesson # 2 - Being a Canadian minister in Canada can be a novelty for congregations and may require discussion.
And furthermore it is always a tricky position for a minister to be in regarding one’s own political viewpoint. I believe passionately that this congregation ought to be available to all political and religious perspectives (well I’m not sure that Satanists or John Birchers would be very comfortable or welcome here....but apart from that, everyone....) and that requires that my own political preferences not enter into the mix....Lesson # 3 - too bad - learn to live with being apolitical while you are a minister.
I have made some mistakes as well. When I first arrived I saw that the Social Responsibility Council was one of the most vibrant groups in the church and I said to myself. ‘Oh good, they’re doing just fine - they don’t need my help.’ They didn’t need my help, but they could have used more of my overt support. so it didn’t look like I didn’t care. Also I ought to have taken a stronger position in the ongoing push-pull between having more spiritual components in the service and having more humanist elements. Of course this was a dilemma for me, because I define myself as a mystical humanist which means that I need both elements simultaneously! I needed to work through how to do that better - and if I had been younger, I would have stayed and done that. Of course these were not my only mistakes...but it at least gives you a sense that my mistakes were both those of omission and comission..
Lesson # 4 - Admit your mistakes as you go along so they don’t pile up on you.
But there’s so much more I want to say. Several months ago I was asked to participate in a “Transition Exit Interview.,” - a one-on -one interview between me and a person representing continental ministry (Keith Wilkinson from Vancouver) and one of the questions I was asked was “what were the significant accomplishments during your tenure?”. I was glad the question was worded the way it was...”accomplishments during my tenure” because I believe strongly that those things that will last, will be those things that find ownership within the congregation.
One of the accomplishments that we did together was helping this church become a teaching congregation. Now FUCV accepts and helps train ministerial interns. I supervised three Interns and one Theological Student during my time at First Unitarian. (Karen Fraser-Gitlitz, Antonia Won, Jenn Devine, Marian Stewart) I believe this has helped you the congregation see itself as one that can teach others, as well as being a leader in social responsibility.
Another accomplishment that I believe is here to stay is Small Group Ministry (Chalice Circles is what we call them here..) .They are groups of between 8-10 people who meet usually once a month to discuss a wide variety of topics. I started these Chalice Circles the first or second year I was here...and while there aren’t as many as in the first years, they are still providing a place where people can form deeper friendships in a safe environment and even more importantly, these groups give a focus that encourages each person to deepen their own spiritual and intellectual perceptions and become more involved and committed to our religious community. If anyone here wants to know something about Chalice Circles, ask those who are members of one...there’s always room for more!
Lesson # 5 - lessons learned together are more satisfying than those learned alone!
I was also asked about my disappointments and frustrations. I talked about the large turnover of staff at First Unitarian and how I felt a lot of my time went to working out staff problems or else attending interviews to find new staff. Throughout my struggle, however, I must say that the responsible and reliable assistance of First Unitarian volunteers was consistent and available whenever needed.
I also knew that while there seemed to be much pleasure with the presence of the Interns there was annoyance at the amount of time this took out of my working hours. I didn’t do a strong enough job of explaining the requirements of supervision to you.
Lesson # 6 - we all need to hear things said many times before we will absorb the meaning (I knew this, I just had to hear it again!)
Another question that the exit interviewer asked me was: If you had one gift to give to this congregation, what would it be?
As you might expect, I gave two answers!
The first gift I chose to give to you was a greater willingness to take risks. Some of you do this regularly and happily; but others of you prefer not to step out of the familiar and into the unknown. My gift would encourage you to overcome your fear of change and remember that change is going to happen anyway, and if you participate positively you may actually contribute to the change being less painful and more creative. It opens you up to the possibility of great success but also the possibilities of failure, so there’s definitely risk involved.
I hope you will accept this gift and apply it where and when needed.
My second gift is the gift of humour. I know, I preached on this subject last Sunday, but I can’t say enough about the essential nature of humour. Some of you may recall what British actor Peter Ustinov had to say about humour (in his comment he uses the word ‘comedy’ but it’s the same thing)....he said: “Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.” I think this is true.
For example several years ago I had some fun with Farrell Boyce about a new Internet site that had appeared called the Unitarian Jihad. Unitarian Jihad is a satirical religious/humanist movement which opposes religious extremism of all kinds through peaceful means.
It came about due to a humorous article by journalist Jon Carroll in San Francisco. Following Jon Carroll's satirical lead, the people who have declared themselves members of the Unitarian Jihad talk about committees, a model common in Unitarian Universalist congregations. They also follow Carroll's lead in using names like "Brother Flaming Sword of Moderation", this is a combination of Title + Weapon + Common Unitarian Noun, in order to parody both the language used by Islamic militant groups and the principles of Unitarian Universalism. It satirizes the Unitarian predilection for starting a committee to discuss anything it wants to change...or keep the same....
This is not, by the way, a cruel dig at Muslims. The word “jihad” relates to a spiritual struggle, not a physical one - the militant fundamentalist muslims have been misusing that term.
Back to Farrell Boyce: after learning about the Unitarian Jihad, we each shared the name we had been given by the Unitarian Jihad. (Check it out - if you go to it, it will give you a name too!) His name was: “Brother Pepper Spray of Mild Reason” and mine was “Sister Fist of Compassion” But I have given myself another one: “Sister Guided Missile of Foolish Thoughtfulness” Some gentle satire to remind us about balance and things more important than committees....
And I can’t leave you without a silly but serious story. It’s mostly a happy story. It’s about a donkey and a farmer.
In the original story the donkey was called a jackass, but that did not seem like the kind of name to use in a Sunday sermon....
The story:
“One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried (brayed) piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried (brayed) horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing.
He would shake it off and take a step up. As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!
The moral of the story is: Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up. Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
- Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.
- Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.
- Live simply and appreciate what you have.
- Give more. (love more...trust more...)
- Expect less. (less anxiety....less difficulty..)”
Of course, I must be honest with you. There is more to the moral that what I have just told you. Because later on the donkey came back and bit the man who had tried to bury him alive. The gash from the bite got infected and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock: (well I did say that it wasmostly a happy story!) So the other moral of the story is that when you do something wrong and try to cover your donkey up, it will always come back to bite you!
Lesson # 7 - It feels good to give gifts!
I hope it is understood that the lessons I learned here are appreciated - even if at the actual time I may not have been jumping up and down with joy!
It is hard to know how to finish my thoughts. Somehow they haven’t conveyed all I hoped they would. I know that an amazing spirit of generosity runs through this congregation ( I saw and experienced it personally when my husband died); I know the music that flows out from mouths and instruments here is both healing and challenging; I know that the Spirit of Life resides permanently in this location whether we call it by that name or another name; I know that I will leave here feeling most of all gratitude for the lessons learned and the sacred opportunity at being allowed into so many of your lives as such a deep level.
I hope our relationship is not over, but it has gradually begun the necessary inexorable process of metamorphosing into something else. Let it be something that will sing and yet be at peace.
Closing Words
For all who see God
May God go with you.
For all who embrace life,
may life return your affection,
For all who seek a right path,
may a way be found....
and the courage to take it,
step by step.
SLT # 700 - Robert Mabry Doss
|
| ||
|
First Unitarian Church of Victoria 5575 West Saanich Road Victoria, B.C. V9E 2G1 |
Phone | (250) 744-2665 |
|---|---|---|
| Fax | (250) 744-2610 | |
| churchoffice@victoriaunitarian.ca | ||
| Design | webmaster@victoriaunitarian.ca | |
| Website hosted by UUism Networks | ||